Insane Conversation

So my husband got mad at me because I thought he punished one of our daughters too harshly. Shes been leaving the house early in the morning. And the police came and brought her home. I’m glad that she was safe

He was soooo pissed because I was holding her with her crying. I hate it when my children cry. He brought up how my kidz walk all over me. Granted – its true. And I am working on finding better ways of dealing with them, disciplining them.

Ughhh. I am not very assertive. I hate disciplining my kidz. I only do it if I have to. I am working on it.

My husband and I talked. He talked down to me. He knows exactly how to use his words to make me feel stupid. And he treats me like I’m stupid.

He asked me what I needed and I told him nothing. When I needed help with disciplining the kidz, he wouldn’t help me. And now he decides to randomly discipline them. He rarely remembers when hes wrong. He ALWAYS remembers when I’m wrong, but not him. And if he does, its not that often.

GRRRRRRR.

I cried later. I called my great aunt, she really helped me. Told me to block him out because hes doing it on purpose, to press my buttons. She had a similar bad marriage. She completely understands. I felt bad about just talking about myself but it felt so good to vent.

I might have also mentioned to my husband how I knew about his whores. He laughed about me bringing up “girls”. He said i was being dramatic and theatrical.

Now hes acting nicer, engaging more with the kidz.

I hate it when he does this. Treats me horribly then acts nice and then makes me think that it was all in my head. It makes me go on a roller coaster that I don’t like.

So when he’s nice I’m dubious. I don’t trust it at all. I know hes such a huge mind game and knows how to manipulate me so I don’t trust him at all.

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