This

I reblogged this from daddysbabygirl69

It can’t be repeated enough. I’m not quite there yet, but I hope to be.

 

So I know I’m usually quiet on the weekends but I saw this and it is so true. So what I have been feeling.

Source: This

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Depression and Fatigue

I have found a new doctor that listens to me. She is going to address my overwhelming fatigue. And I just got started on buPROPion, an anti-depressant that might also help with weight loss. yay.

She suggested that I start some counseling. She thought it might help to talk to someone about my problems. I’m not sure. I’m kind of undecided.

It would be nice to talk to someone about all of my complicated issues and drama that is going on right now. I’m not sure about it. I’m always afraid of seeming like a hypocondriac or something like that.

And I’m not sure how its gonna affect me or what it can do for me with all of the issues I’m having. Being overwhelmed with kidz, health problems, a couple living with me, sexless marriage, my husband ignoring me and verbally abusing me her and there.

I’m still unsure but my family thinks it would do me some good so I might at least look into it.

Taking Control of the Money

I was going to file the PFDs and again, my husband beat me to it. GRRRRR.

My husband has slowly and slowly been getting control of more and more of the money.

As it is, I’m still in control of my childrens SSI’s. He gets the Tax Return and the childrens PFDs. I may or may not get him to give me some of the Childrens PFDs.

He uses them to pay off his debt in child support. But he also used it last year to take a trip to Morocco but I found out it was really Hawaii with his friend.

I have no idea what to do. Its just getting more frustrating.

New Fitness Beginning

A few years ago, my weight went down from 250 to 230. And it slowly crept back up. Yesterday it was 257. This is truly my low point, or high point, lol.

So I have decided to start over. I’m having MORE fatigue even though I’m not new to exercise.

So I’m going back to the basics. Walking exercises. Light belly dance drillz. Gentle Yoga and stretching.

This is where I’m gonna be for a while. In the meanwhile I’m doing research on fatigue and stuff like that. Back to babysteps.

Hormones & IUDs

So….. my hormones are out of control. Erratic periods and days and days of spotting. Since I wasn’t doing anything, my gynecologist decided to switch my IUD to a hormone based one.

If I had known how painful it would be, I would have opted for pills lol.

I went in and after the scope was in, she pulled out the old IUD. Not super painful, but most definitely uncomfortable. ughhh.

Then she tried to put in the new one but I wouldn’t quit screaming in pain. It hurt so bad. And yeah …… she ended up giving me a shot in my vagina. She said this won’t hurt as bad as before. I said what are you giving me, she said never mind and then she said, “Grit your teeth”. Oh boy. I’m pretty sure I started screaming about why its so hard to be a woman, lol.

It hurt. After all this breathing, painful moaning and screaming ~ I still hurt and was exhausted. I also had blood work done.

I came home and slept off the rest of the pain.

My test came back all completely normal and I have another appointment to discuss the next course of action.

And I’m still spotting from the new IUD.

le sigh. Female stuff is so painful but trying to take care of my health.