Florida …..

My husband recently told me that he wants us to move to Florida because there’s a larger Muslim community there that would be good for the kidz.

He can say all the right things, but I seriously doubt his intentions.

My biggest concern is that I’d be more isolated than I already am. I think he really just wants to take me away from my family so he can feel more masculine and in control. If a woman has the tiniest say in anything, he feels like its emasculating.

He says its for religion, but knowing him, its for power and control. He’s said before in the past that he’s wanted to get me away from my family. He thinks I’ll never have true religious faith when I can depend on my family for help.

Right now I’m praying that this NEVER happens. He says he’s going forward with it and he doesn’t care how sick my grandparents are.

I have no idea what to do. He doesn’t listen and treats me like I’m stupid. He talks at me, he doesn’t talk TO me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Starting Therapy

I have recently started going to therapy. When I first started (I’ve only been 3x), I was going crazy. Sometimes crying for no reason. Just being overwhelmed. Trying to manage by myself without going COMPLETELY crazy. Talking to family only helps so much.

My favorite website EP closed down. Now I go to ILIASM and Similar Worlds to be myself and especially talk about sexless marriage.

Well it feels great to be validated and know I’m not crazy. My therapist believes that my husband has anti-social personality disorder. I’ve briefly looked into it and a lot of the traits sounds exactly like my husband.

I’m still coming to terms with all of it. But it is nice to know its not in my head. It can seem like that sometimes because of how powerful the mind games are.