Energy & Damn Carbs :(

So no matter what I do the doctors can’t find the cause of my lack of energy. The last time at the gynecologist was just humiliating. Like I don’t eat right. I eat a crapload of veggies and good protein and she just looks at me with pity.

I haven’t been able to go under 255 in 3 years. It ranges between 250 to 260. Previously 250 WAS my highest weight.

So I decided to be some pills as “helping aids”. After I got home, it dawned on me that I’ve always taken “helpers”. As a teen I took chromium for cravings, other times this or that and the other.

I tried Hydroxycut but it made my heart beat too fast. So now I’m taking  Green Tea Fat Burner. In one week I’ve lost 2 pounds which is healthy and sane. 255 pounds. I haven’t weighed 255 in years. usually its 257-260.

But I’m happy with my slow progress. I’m taking my exercise levels s l o w l y so I don’t burn out and build a good habit.

However, the other day I decided to have egg fried rice that I cooked for everyone else. I gained 2 pounds. The bad thing is I gained 2 pounds incredibly fast, the good thing is that I know this and know what to expect if I eat rice. And even brown rice, no matter how tasty, still doesn’t satiate me as a carb. Grrrrrr.

Another good thing is that I realize how INCREDIBLY sensitive I am to carbs. Its good that I’m realizing it.

I, knowing this, am aware I’m going to have to come up with some good strategies to resist the damn things since my kidz and husband can eat them and I really shouldnt. 😦

 

Limitations …..

Right now I’m having a hard time coming to terms with my limitations.

I have been looking at other people who are fitter than me. And I’ve noticed that even they have physical limitations. Its helping me come to terms.

I hate that I can’t do squats or lunges. I hate that bending my knees too much hurts. I hate that because of my weight, that my exercise options are so limited.

I KNOW this has also gone about with me not exercising as much as I want to because I’ve been pouting about it.

GRRRRRRRRRR.

So I’m trying to  accept my body more and come to terms with its limitations.

I’ve heard from “Yoga with Adrienne” on Youtube, say that when you accept your limitations and work with it, then you can move past it.

So….. I don’t want to. But I’m just gonna have to accept that my body is soooo much more limited than I want it to be.

I’m going back to my knee rehab exercises, gentle walking workouts, belly dancing, and most importantly, I’m going to have to start being MORE vigilant with my flexibility training.