Too Immature to be Married

So, I have not hidden the fact, at least on here, that I’m a submissive babygirl. My husband doesn’t know because he’s very narrow minded and very unaccepting of sexuality in general. At least with me anyways.

My husband has told me several times that I’m too immature for marriage.

He told me about how mut’a marriages are halal in Shi’a Islam. Its a temporary marriage. My husband basically told me that if a woman is too emotional to be open to polygyny, then she should only be a temporary wife. I told him the idea is too damaging for many women. He said that people feel like shit all the time, and to just get over it.

oh sighhhhhhh.

I wanted to share a pizza with him. He got two pizzas instead of one. He said, “You think this is lady and the tramp?”. And he laughed at me.

He has told me that I’m immature for marriage. He says that I read too romance novels and that I have unrealistic views of relationships. He says this because I still have cravings and yearnings and yet we’ve almost been married for fourteen years. And yet, he got bored easily and started rejecting me for sex after two weeks of marriage.

I later went on to DDLG World and asked other littles and middles. Apparently, others have experienced the same thing. But I’m a babygirl and it makes sense.

But I also don’t think wanting emotional love, and sex and cuddles and tv marathons, and sleeping next to someone and booty rubs and kisses and contant little touches throughout the day to be immature.

I think its natural.

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Health Frustrations

I have pcos. I’ve gained weight since my two falls this winter. I can’t seem to lose the weight.

It looks like I’m going back to recording my food and doing some more tweaking with my intermittent fasting and seeing if I get any results.

Its so frustrating. I just want to feel stronger and healthier. Maybe some recording is most definitely in order.

I just feel like I’m bouncing around trying to figure out what works for me.

GRRRRRRRRRR.

Huge Update

My husband is no longer extremist. He is still very conservative and hyprocritical and harsh, but not extremist. I gave information to my husband’s ex-wife to give to the FBI, and now the FBI wants him to be an informant.

oh boy.

My husband is now a Shi’a muslim. We all are actually. I thought about the information that my husband told me, and I eventually agreed with it because it made sense to me. That was not the reason that my husband wanted me to convert from Sunni to Shi’a.

He wants me to have X amount of faith because of X reason, when he wants it. He doesn’t quite understand that everyone is entitled to their own spiritual journey.

Le sigh.

So now, its like the same problem but different flavor. He still cheats, goes out at night at strange hours, still mostly ignores me. Still no sex for four years now. No hugs, no kisses, no dinner and a movie, no nothing.

The outside has changed, but he’s still really the same person. Right now I’m just trying to cope with all of this. Plus the fact that I have fallen two times in the snow and it wasn’t pretty. I have gone to the Orthopedic doctor. Right now I have really bad IT band syndrome and I still can’t walk up the stairs with my left leg. I’m holding off on some physical therapy exercises, and see if it helps. Otherwise, I’ll be going back to a physical therapist.