I am curious if sexlessness can create anxiety? Like by the time you do get touched, its painful and awkward and you just have all this anxiety related to intimacy/sex.
I am curious if this is normal, especially if your spouse touches you in a small way after years of nothing.
this is making actually so much more confused than ever.
The other night, I thought to try and reconnect the marriage. Its Ramadan – a time to fix broken relationships.
I texted him to tuck me into bed.
He came down, I had him get me my special sleeping pillow, Mr. Cuddles which he laughed at. I always sleep in the corner and he said I was so far away. Eventually he put his arm around my waist.
I haven’t been touched at all besides a hand shake, or bumping against him while walking down the hall way for four years now.
My heart beat. I couldn’t sleep. I wasn’t breathing right but forced it to slow down. I felt like was going to pop out of my ears.
I didn’t know if I wanted his hand to go up or down. And then I wanted him to get his stupid hand off of me after depriving me of everything for YEARS and cheating on me.
I am so confused. When he’s an a-hole, I know what to expect and what to think. But this action of hope? or whatever, its got me so twisted and confused. I don’t know if I want him to tuck me into bed again or not.
And even then, “I” initiated just like I’ve done the majority of the time, which creates more anxiety.