Daughter’s Behavior Problems ….

My daughter K is in 6th grade and she has autism. In the beginning of the school year they didn’t have a teacher just a sub. It was like 6 weeks or more before they had a teacher.

And I brainstormed ideas for her behavior issues. But nothing works because she’s learned that bad behavior gets her home to do whatever.

She’s escalating.

Now she’s going to be transferred to a special school for behavior issues. Her brother goes to the same school.

But for some reason it really got to me. I could hear my daughter screaming bloody murder as I left my meeting. Its really hard seeing your child with autism having these issues and being helpless to stop it.

My husband did NOT tell me that its gonna be ok. Nope.

First he told me that bad things happen so you won’t go to Hell. Which, is fine to say, but, maybe not at THAT exact moment.

Then at home, he went off to describe all these problems.

My husband has been saying over and over again that if you complain, that you are a disbeliever and won’t go to Paradise. Someone who has horrible things happen to them and doesn’t complain, will get this and NOT you.

Its a bit troubling. I’ll probably confide is someone better than me on this issue.

This is just not the right time to talk about this.

I’m dealing with this basically all by myself. If he does help me calm her down, which he can do easily because he’s kind of a leaner Alpha so my daughter mostly calms down around him.

But its still so hard. He can talk but he’s not doing any of the work.

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NOT a Muslimah

So last night I made food for my husband and his friend who works with my son for respite care. I couldn’t pray since I was on my period and so my kids prayed with my husband and his friend.

My daughter came down and she was a little afraid to say it, but my husband told her I wasn’t a Muslimah anymore.

WOW

It took me time to digest all of this. He has truly gone astray. I knew he was astray when he said ISIS is Islamic, a picture on his computer blessing Osama bin Laden as a scholar when he never was. The list goes on.

Add to this that he barely engages with us and the kids are happy when he’s gone. He’s started pulling one of my daughter’s hair and cusses when giving the kids small instructions.

I’ve listened to Islamic lectures by Mufti Mink that your wife and children should come first. Your family IS an Islamic duty. But we’ve never c really been a priority. He thinks of us more as what we SHOULD be doing and we fail his unrealistic expectations.

Mufti Mink also said to be VERY careful before you accuse someone of turning against their religion. I know my husband gets this idea from his extremist friends and all the videos that are posted on YouTube. Because I think for myself and don’t do exactly what he thinks I should he thinks I shame the religion, that I’m corrupting the children and that I make religion like a clown. Ughhhhh.

I know he’s wrong. My poor daughter was very confused and really I’m just trying to do damage control right now.

Middle-School Transition

My eldest son is 11 years old and he started 6th grade this year. His transition to middle school is NOT going well at all.
grrrrrrrrr.

At the end of last year, me and his teacher put in work to make the transition smooth. It did NOT happen.

His ipad that he uses for communication was NOT there. For whatever reason hes running off a lot and over all they just can’t handle him.

He tests people and runs off if he doesn’t respect you. I arrive and then he listens to me.

Its the most frustrating thing in the world. I have an appointment next week to meet with some people. I just told my husband today whats going on.

He just said sooner or later, they’ll give up and send him to a school with more security, for bad kids. Or also, for special needs kidz with more aggresssive issues.

I feel like they are especially incompetent that they can’t even admit that they just might not be the best fit for my son. They just say that they can’t bend over backwards for one child. Whatever.

#everychildcounts #autismmatters