This year has really sucked. It has been hard. I will not even lie, in just too many ways to count. I am hoping for a much better year. I
I am hoping to get my health under control.
I am hoping to get into better shape.
I am hoping to get a little bit better at intermittent fasting.
I am hoping to lose weight.
I am hoping to my children continue to mature and become loving people.
But ……. I am not so sure that I am hoping for a better marriage. On one hand, I’m not sure there’s anything to really hope for. On another hand, every time he acts nice during a religious or an intellectual conversation. And there I fill up with false hope only to feel bad when he ignores me later and spends the night elsewhere. And because he is the man, I’m not allowed to ask where he’s gone or going.
He’s said that more than once, as crazy as that sounds.
And to set the New Year’s off even more, I’m sick and my husband isn’t here. I’ve never ever spent a New Year’s with him doing anything.My husband discussed with me why mixed kids (like me and our kids) are confused. That because we grow up with multiple cultures, multiple identities that we can’t thrive for very long without a mental break, or whatever. That we are confused and aren’t loyal to any side of their identity.
It makes me sad. I cried. It didn’t make me feel much better afterwards. So I’ll just go on ahead and try for my own New Years.
Progress NOT perfection.
So I was sick for 4 weeks. I experienced almost all the symptoms. And I still have a lingering cough. Le sigh. It probably doesn’t help that I’m forgetting to use my inhaler as much as I should.
So …… I am slowly getting back into working out. I was out of shape before I got sick. So for now, I’m sticking to pretty toned down workouts. Like less than 20 minutes hehe. NOT including the warm up and stretching, of course.
I’m feeling super wimpy but I have to remember how much more energy I need for the kids as well.
So that’s about it. I also need to get back on the wagon with my blood type diet and my intermittent fasting.
A few years ago, my weight went down from 250 to 230. And it slowly crept back up. Yesterday it was 257. This is truly my low point, or high point, lol.
So I have decided to start over. I’m having MORE fatigue even though I’m not new to exercise.
So I’m going back to the basics. Walking exercises. Light belly dance drillz. Gentle Yoga and stretching.
This is where I’m gonna be for a while. In the meanwhile I’m doing research on fatigue and stuff like that. Back to babysteps.
Last night I had family over, my aunt, 3 cousins and my grandparents.
So it was crowded and it takes me a while to recover from the disruption in the usual schedule.
Also, my family got KFC. I have now realized that KFC and other fast food gives me headaches. The chemicals in it makes me get more hungry, crave sweets, etc .
I couldn’t exercise and am sleeping more today. I hate this feeling. Next time I’ll have a protein shake and then a healthy dinner. Let EVERYONE else eat that stuff.
So today I’m resting and eating better, God willing.
I tried doing a fitness challenge by Fitness Blender. It was too hard on my knees. And my a$$. It triggered my back pain and my sciatica/piriformis pain. Ouch.
So now I’m taking a step back and am only doing mostly rehabilitative exercises until my body gets stronger. And working on my flexibility training as I know that will help my knees and legs and back pain. And I’m working on getting in some regular belly dance drillz. It feels really good.
Food wise, my sweet spot tends to be 2 protein shakes and 2 real food meals a day. it feels really good for my body.
I am going back to the Gynecologist, getting my iud replaced because it got to low and caused irregular bleeding. I am also getting help with the birth control pills, because I’ve been getting sooo many headaches, stubborn headaches since I started these birth control pills. Ouch.