Right now I”m feeling completely and utterly out of sync.
I may have enjoyed too much of my free time without the kids and am having a hard time getting things done.
I’m realizing that certain things I need to avoid because they are complete time wasters.
And that some other things I need to help keep me focused – like exercise. I know I’m also having issues with mental focus and I may look up some ways to heighten that. Tweak my diet, among other things.
This past week and a half, we have been living on rice and eggs. Just that. so …. better budgeting for this next month. Thats for sure.
I have also found that I do much better with potatoes and whole grain, REAL whole grain bread. NOT rice and noodles.
That is for sure.
I can’t wait for tomorrow, the first, so I can put it all into affect. I also have to wait for some Yoga pants. Exercise clothes really do help getting into the right mindset.
So I’m glad that I know what I need now.
I have pcos. I’ve gained weight since my two falls this winter. I can’t seem to lose the weight.
It looks like I’m going back to recording my food and doing some more tweaking with my intermittent fasting and seeing if I get any results.
Its so frustrating. I just want to feel stronger and healthier. Maybe some recording is most definitely in order.
I just feel like I’m bouncing around trying to figure out what works for me.
So I am mostly done healing from my 3erd bout with MRSA. Two years ago I got it once in my jaw, once (small) in my nostril, and this last time it was in my cheek. The pressure was HORRIBLE. And the process was painful.
Three days after it first appeared (as a small pimple) I went to the ER. They didn’t want to cut me open and just told me to use a warm compress.
2 days I went into a walk-in clinic. They injected me 2x to numb the pain. It stung. I cried and sobbed and shook. I hated it to pieces.
Then the doctor cut me open, popped it, cleaned it out with salt water, and then stuffed it with a thin piece of cloth. I had to go everyday for 6 or 7 days and had to have at least 2 anti-biotic shots in the butt plus 10 days of antibiotics.
And now, unfortunately one of my daughters has it. It was horrible. I had my husband take her to the doctor. I now have to grind it up in applesauce and see how that goes. Our ran out and so I couldn’t afford the liquid medication.
So now I’m just trying to help her get over it. I hope and pray that she gets better soon.
So no matter what I do the doctors can’t find the cause of my lack of energy. The last time at the gynecologist was just humiliating. Like I don’t eat right. I eat a crapload of veggies and good protein and she just looks at me with pity.
I haven’t been able to go under 255 in 3 years. It ranges between 250 to 260. Previously 250 WAS my highest weight.
So I decided to be some pills as “helping aids”. After I got home, it dawned on me that I’ve always taken “helpers”. As a teen I took chromium for cravings, other times this or that and the other.
I tried Hydroxycut but it made my heart beat too fast. So now I’m taking Green Tea Fat Burner. In one week I’ve lost 2 pounds which is healthy and sane. 255 pounds. I haven’t weighed 255 in years. usually its 257-260.
But I’m happy with my slow progress. I’m taking my exercise levels s l o w l y so I don’t burn out and build a good habit.
However, the other day I decided to have egg fried rice that I cooked for everyone else. I gained 2 pounds. The bad thing is I gained 2 pounds incredibly fast, the good thing is that I know this and know what to expect if I eat rice. And even brown rice, no matter how tasty, still doesn’t satiate me as a carb. Grrrrrr.
Another good thing is that I realize how INCREDIBLY sensitive I am to carbs. Its good that I’m realizing it.
I, knowing this, am aware I’m going to have to come up with some good strategies to resist the damn things since my kidz and husband can eat them and I really shouldnt. 😦
A few years ago, my weight went down from 250 to 230. And it slowly crept back up. Yesterday it was 257. This is truly my low point, or high point, lol.
So I have decided to start over. I’m having MORE fatigue even though I’m not new to exercise.
So I’m going back to the basics. Walking exercises. Light belly dance drillz. Gentle Yoga and stretching.
This is where I’m gonna be for a while. In the meanwhile I’m doing research on fatigue and stuff like that. Back to babysteps.
So….. my hormones are out of control. Erratic periods and days and days of spotting. Since I wasn’t doing anything, my gynecologist decided to switch my IUD to a hormone based one.
If I had known how painful it would be, I would have opted for pills lol.
I went in and after the scope was in, she pulled out the old IUD. Not super painful, but most definitely uncomfortable. ughhh.
Then she tried to put in the new one but I wouldn’t quit screaming in pain. It hurt so bad. And yeah …… she ended up giving me a shot in my vagina. She said this won’t hurt as bad as before. I said what are you giving me, she said never mind and then she said, “Grit your teeth”. Oh boy. I’m pretty sure I started screaming about why its so hard to be a woman, lol.
It hurt. After all this breathing, painful moaning and screaming ~ I still hurt and was exhausted. I also had blood work done.
I came home and slept off the rest of the pain.
My test came back all completely normal and I have another appointment to discuss the next course of action.
And I’m still spotting from the new IUD.
le sigh. Female stuff is so painful but trying to take care of my health.
Apparently I’m overexercising. Which could account for some of my cravings and my recent bloating.
I wish it wasn’t overexericising. that I was in better shape. But I have to just accept that this just where I’m at right now.
No more than 30 minutes of dancing or else I get burned out the next day and need to sleep. I have to go to bed before 11 or I can barely get up in time and get ready for the day.
I’m trying to find the right balance so I can lose weight but not burn out and need napping the next day. And also sleep. I find that I can’t NOT function physically if I’m not well rested and have enough sleep.
For now I’m gonna take a rest day and plan my exercise attack for tomorrow.
I had a shot in my left knee. It was NOT a meniscus tear but knee bursitis. Because its been bothering me for a while, I have to take it easy for a week before I do some exercise. I am very glad I got it done though.
I’m just taking it easy for now.
On another note, lots of people on EP (Experience Project) have told me I’m too passive about my husband being a supporter of ISIS, or daesh as they should be called. Bigoted Devils. That I could go to jail for knowing about it and doing nothing.
So tonight I contacted 2 different Islamic resources and asked them what to do.
I’m going to wait for their answers before I go about contacting someone else.
But I am doing something. I’m not being completely passive. I don’t want to do something premature and then I get the backlash and then no one believes me.
My husband calls me a liar anyways as it is. But I’m making progress. I just have to wait for some answers. I’m going slow and smart on this one.
I just got a bread machine and have been eating way too many carbs now.
I’ve been thinking I might have to cut my portions of food and stick to my healthy foods.
That being said my kidz LUV it.
I’m trying to become more aware of my habits without becoming obsessive about it.
Today I realized something. I weigh a little more than 100 more than I did at 16-18. This absolutely crazy to me. Of course at the time it was unsustainable (135) and I gained weight because I was overexercising and under eating.
But still a crazy realization.
Today I realized that somethings seriously HAS to happen. But part of it is sooo hard for me wit this leg injury. I hate trying to lose weight with an injury. Its sooooo hard and difficult.
Tomorrow I’m ONLY going to be doing seating exercise and light yoga and upper body dance drillz. Until my injury is healed.
The back of my left knee/hamstring area feels like its super tight and is about to pop or tear or something. Its a horrible sensation. Tomorrow I’m telling my PT. I’m also telling my Dr. that shes not treating this as a hamstring strain.
Oh boy. I feel like such a tattle tell, lol, but something seriously HAS to change.
I’m dedicated to changing because something has to.