Huge Update

My husband is no longer extremist. He is still very conservative and hyprocritical and harsh, but not extremist. I gave information to my husband’s ex-wife to give to the FBI, and now the FBI wants him to be an informant.

oh boy.

My husband is now a Shi’a muslim. We all are actually. I thought about the information that my husband told me, and I eventually agreed with it because it made sense to me. That was not the reason that my husband wanted me to convert from Sunni to Shi’a.

He wants me to have X amount of faith because of X reason, when he wants it. He doesn’t quite understand that everyone is entitled to their own spiritual journey.

Le sigh.

So now, its like the same problem but different flavor. He still cheats, goes out at night at strange hours, still mostly ignores me. Still no sex for four years now. No hugs, no kisses, no dinner and a movie, no nothing.

The outside has changed, but he’s still really the same person. Right now I’m just trying to cope with all of this. Plus the fact that I have fallen two times in the snow and it wasn’t pretty. I have gone to the Orthopedic doctor. Right now I have really bad IT band syndrome and I still can’t walk up the stairs with my left leg. I’m holding off on some physical therapy exercises, and see if it helps. Otherwise, I’ll be going back to a physical therapist.


Crazy realization

Today I realized something. I weigh a little more than 100 more than I did at 16-18. This absolutely crazy to me. Of course at the time it was unsustainable (135) and I gained weight because I was overexercising and under eating.

But still a crazy realization.

Today I realized that somethings seriously HAS to happen. But part of it is sooo hard for me wit this leg injury. I hate trying to lose weight with an injury. Its sooooo hard and difficult.

Tomorrow I’m ONLY going to be doing seating exercise and light yoga and upper body dance drillz. Until my injury is healed.

The back of my left knee/hamstring area feels like its super tight and is about to pop or tear or something. Its a horrible sensation. Tomorrow I’m telling my PT. I’m also telling my Dr. that shes not treating this as a hamstring strain.

Oh boy. I feel like such a tattle tell, lol, but something seriously HAS to change.

I’m dedicated to changing because something has to.