Well as everyone who knows me, they know I’m Muslim. I cover Islamically.
Lately my husband is getting more and more extreme. Even though my daughters are still little girls, more so emotionally and mentally than physically. They aren’t as developed as I was at their ages, but still.
My husband has now decided that if they don’t adhere to his strict idea of covering, then they shouldn’t cover at all. No hijab.
All or nothing. In the past I’ve tried to explain to him, that there is hope. Progress not perfection. That just because you can’t do something perfectly, doesn’t mean you don’t do it at all. He thinks doing it my way is a disgrace to the religion. I make Islam look bad, and like a joke to non-Muslims.
My daughters usually wear pants, long dresses, usually short sleeved and Hijabs. Pretty soon I am going to have them start wearing long sleeved shirts under their dresses because of my husband strict standards. And I’ll start making them thigh to knee long dresses, as per his standards.
Personally, I think hes getting too strict too fast. He wasn’t like this before. He says I’ve changed and thats true. I was overly strict because I was a new Muslimah (female Muslim) and I was encouraged to do so. I wasn’t really given the chance to learn at my own pace. I was pushed and pushed until we found out the kidz have autism. Then he decided the learning religion was only for him and he’d tell me what to do. What not to do. And now he complains that I’m not a good Muslimah.
One time he said I was barely a Muslim, and if I didn’t watch myself, I would no longer be valid as a Muslim.
He can be so frustrating sometimes.
My grandma has asked me if hes becoming more fanatic, and I said yes. Shes afraid he’ll try to have them circumcised. As it is, we just walk on egg shells around him. Try not to make him angry as his mean streak is getting more and more. He’ll be angry for no reason what so ever. He won’t talk about it.
I have found secret files from the VA that he has anxiety problems and serious sleeping problems. I have no idea why. Why he wouldn’t share it with me. I’m trying not to worry too much.
Just trying to not get in the way of his grumpiness. One of my daughters, I’ll call her Skinny Girl and the other one Chubby Mama. Well Skinny Girl thinks that her dad is mad because he eats too much sugar. hehe. So cute.