Today I found out more things I wish I didn’t know.
I went into my husband’s room to get something while he was out with his daughters. And his phone was on and there was some suspicious texts. There were sooooo many and I read them all.
This woman, who doesn’t have full custody of her own daughter, she and her dad sell weed to my husband from time to time. Sometimes my husband buys weed from someone else. They get together, hook up and smoke weed.
That’s why his car reeks of weed and he acts like I don’t know what that smell means.
When I confronted him months ago, he acted like he wasn’t cheating on me anymore.
Oh boy. And he masturbates, after giving me all these lectures on masturbation being a sin.
She knows he’s Muslim. He acts so Islamic at home and this and that and all this research and then turns around and does this.
He doesn’t call me his wife. When it comes to the children, he calls me his “replacement”. He doesn’t even mention the children we’ve had together, only his older daughters.
And he complained and “vented” to her that women are oppressive and unmerciful.
From the texts that he wrote down, he won’t stay with her and move in with her because she can’t cook.
So now, when he’s acting friendly ~ I won’t trust it. It’s not real. It’s a facade.
I will continue doing wifely things other than sex, because he hasn’t touched me in 4 years, I’ll be a good Muslim wife and God willing, one day he will be exposed for who he truly is and he’ll have no one to blaim but himself.
For now, I wish I didn’t know. I know too much. It gave me soooo much anxiety. My stomach hurt. I kind of forced myself to eat tonight. Maybe too much. I don’t know.
I still feel a bit of anxiety and plan on getting back on anti-depressants.
I need them to help me fulfill my responsibilities.